Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize