Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
