you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
