i would punch a child for taco bell
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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