how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
