Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize