So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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