Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
