No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
