we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
