just tell him i said nine months
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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