Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
