So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
