I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
