porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
