i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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