Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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