What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
