Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i drank out of a bidet.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
