so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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