so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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