What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
