He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
