if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
