I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
