yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
