When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
