like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
