p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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