Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
What a dumb baby whore.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
