I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
