So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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