Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
