So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
