I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
