I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
