do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize