my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
