I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
