Your face is a jimmy john
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This baby is an asshole
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize