sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's the barista slut.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
