Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
