We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
MIDGETS
????
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize