Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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