he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
