I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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