I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
