remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
