"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
