just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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