But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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