im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
