I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
