life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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