she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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