That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
