I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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