You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize