How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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