i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize