he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
