If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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