Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
