I want to have your abortion
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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