I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Randomize
