I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
